Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Funeral Obituary

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Funeral obituaries hold immense importance as they encapsulate the life story of a loved one while informing family, friends, and the community about their passing. Writing an obituary is a delicate task that requires thoughtfulness, accuracy, and empathy. However, during an emotional time, mistakes can easily occur. Avoiding common pitfalls ensures the obituary is a respectful, meaningful, and fitting tribute.

Common Mistakes to Avoid:

Here are common mistakes to avoid when writing funeral obituaries and how to ensure your message is both impactful and accurate.

1. Lack of Essential Details

One of the primary purposes of an obituary is to provide key information about the deceased and their memorial service. Omitting essential details can cause confusion and inconvenience for readers. Ensure you include:

  • Full name of the deceased (including maiden or nicknames, if relevant).

  • Date and place of birth and death.

  • Information about surviving family members.

  • Funeral or memorial service details (time, date, and location).

Mistake: Forgetting to include service details or contact information for inquiries.

Solution: Double-check that all logistical details are clearly stated and accurate.

2. Writing Without Structure

An unstructured obituary can feel scattered and difficult to read. It’s important to organize your thoughts and write in a logical flow, covering essential points systematically.

Mistake: Jumping between topics without coherence.

Solution: Follow a simple structure:

  1. Announce the passing.

  2. Provide a brief biography.

  3. Highlight their legacy and achievements.

  4. Share service details.

  5. Close with a comforting message or gratitude.

3. Overlooking the Deceased’s Personality

A meaningful obituary goes beyond facts; it captures the essence of the person. Failing to include personal anecdotes, hobbies, or values can make the obituary feel impersonal.

Mistake: Writing a generic piece that doesn’t reflect the individuality of your loved one.

Solution: Include unique details such as their passions, favorite activities, or notable qualities. For example, “John had an infectious laugh and a love for gardening, spending countless hours tending to his roses.”

4. Spelling and Grammatical Errors

Errors in an obituary can come across as careless and may distract from its heartfelt message. Names, dates, and places are particularly prone to mistakes.

Mistake: Misspelling names of family members or important locations.

Solution: Proofread the obituary multiple times and ask a trusted friend or family member to review it as well. Tools like spell checkers can help catch minor mistakes.

5. Being Overly Lengthy or Too Brief

Finding the right balance in length is essential. A lengthy obituary might lose the reader’s attention, while a very brief one may seem insufficient.

Mistake: Including excessive details about minor events or omitting major milestones.

Solution: Focus on significant events, accomplishments, and memories that paint a clear picture of the deceased’s life. A typical obituary ranges from 200 to 500 words but can be longer if necessary.

6. Forgetting to Mention Important Relationships

Obituaries often list surviving family members, but forgetting someone can lead to hurt feelings and unintended offense.

Mistake: Leaving out close family members or incorrectly identifying relationships.

Solution: Create a list of immediate and extended family members to include, and confirm with other family members for accuracy. Use phrases like “survived by” or “preceded in death by” to indicate relationships.

7. Not Including Service Preferences

If your loved one had specific preferences for memorial contributions, donations, or service arrangements, failing to include these details can result in missed opportunities to honor their wishes.

Mistake: Omitting donation information or instructions.

Solution: Specify preferences clearly, such as, “In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to [Charity Name].”

8. Ignoring Cultural or Religious Traditions

Cultural and religious practices often influence how funeral obituaries are written. Overlooking these traditions can feel disrespectful to the deceased and their community.

Mistake: Writing an obituary that doesn’t align with cultural or religious norms.

Solution: Consult with family members or religious leaders to ensure the obituary reflects relevant customs and practices.

9. Failing to Consider the Audience

An obituary serves a broad audience, including family, friends, and acquaintances. Writing in a way that’s overly formal or too casual may alienate certain readers.

Mistake: Using language that feels out of place or doesn’t resonate with readers.

Solution: Aim for a respectful yet approachable tone that reflects the deceased’s personality. Avoid jargon, slang, or overly complex language.

10. Delaying Submission

Timing is crucial when publishing an obituary. Delays can lead to confusion or missed opportunities for people to attend services.

Mistake: Waiting too long to write or submit the obituary.

Solution: Start drafting as soon as possible and set clear deadlines for publication, especially if you’re working with newspapers or online platforms.

11. Excluding Online and Social Media Options

In today’s digital age, funeral obituaries are often shared online to reach a wider audience. Failing to utilize these platforms can limit visibility.

Mistake: Only publishing the obituary in print without considering digital platforms.

Solution: Share the obituary on funeral home websites, social media, or dedicated memorial pages to ensure it reaches all who wish to pay their respects.

12. Overlooking Cost Considerations

Publishing an obituary, especially in print newspapers, can be costly. Ignoring these costs might lead to unexpected financial strain.

Mistake: Writing an excessively long obituary without considering publication fees.

Solution: Check pricing guidelines for the platforms you plan to use and tailor the obituary’s length accordingly.

13. Forgetting to Thank Supporters

Acknowledging those who supported the family during a difficult time is a thoughtful touch that’s often overlooked.

Mistake: Not including a thank-you note or expression of gratitude.

Solution: Add a closing statement such as, “The family extends heartfelt thanks to everyone who has provided support during this time.”

14. Omitting a Call to Action

An obituary is an invitation to remember and celebrate a loved one’s life. Failing to include a call to action might leave readers unsure of how to pay their respects.

Mistake: Not specifying how readers can participate in services or memorials.

Solution: Clearly state the details for attending services, sending flowers, or making donations.

Conclusion

Writing funeral obituaries is a delicate and meaningful task that requires attention to detail and sensitivity. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can craft an obituary that honors your loved one’s life and legacy while providing clarity and comfort to those who read it. Whether you’re writing for a parent, sibling, friend, or other loved one, taking the time to create a thoughtful obituary ensures their story is told with the respect and love they deserve.

 

  • United States

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